Thursday, August 22, 2002

YAWNNN.....previewing my radio show after a long hard day of playing with fuzzy creatures, exercising, ranting about music and marinating steak. Although...not in that particular order. I'm fearful of putting up this current radio show as it's just so damn weird. It's a "random" which I flipped coin and pointed at CD shelves in order to pick what CDs to play, then made Mike pick a random track number off the CD to pick a random song.

So there's all this peculiar stuff like Primus and Pantera and Soul Coughing and other bands I normally wouldn't be playing. But the random show was my stupid idea so i'm still giving it a shot. Hope I don't drop any listeners. EEP!

And my little music promotion machine is running...not since Razed In Black have I felt the need to push a band so much, but I fear that I am hooked on Slick Idiot and it is fast taking it's place among my top three, if not top 2 fav bands. Not quite sure it's strong enough to dethrone VNV though...

But anyway I keep telling people about them and posting here and there...not to mention the reviews and pictures I posted and all the silly links I keep adding for them where I can get away with it. But, I enjoy the whole mess. If I was at the right place at the right time, I might actually enjoy working in the music industry...some parts of it more than others I'm sure. Not sure if anything like that is in the cards for me though. Sure, I'm going back to school for theatre design, but I'm not exactly sure if theatre is going to be where I end up. All I know is it's the right place for me to be right now.

I've always gravitated toward musicians, whether it was in choir or high school band, or people like Romell. I enjoy helping them for some reason. Not entirely sure why. Just makes me feel good for some reason.

I know that my time to actually live in Cleveland is most likely over. And yet sometimes I still daydream about the one and reason I would ever be able to go back and have a decent job. Alternative Press is located there...on a busline I used to live on. I wanted so badly to be a graphic artist there.That's the only way i would ever work in that field again. I sent them some samples once, but they weren't hiring. The problem with that job is it's a cool one. I've checked back repeatedly to see if maybe, just maybe they are hiring graphic artists...or even music reviewers. Nein. Who in their right mind would leave a job like that? It's so frustrating because the perfect job was right there in my own hometown...right in easy reach. And because of my luck and lack of contacts I had to move to Chicago into another corporate job that I wound up hating.

Ideally, I would love to use my talents to be involved with musicians somehow. How I'm going to do that with a BFA in Fashion, with graphic design experience, makeup and costume classes is not quite clear. School starts again in late sept., and although I am going back and have only been there for one semester I'm already questioning what I'm supposed to be doing with myself. The question to ask of course is "well, what do you want?"

Uhhhh...well, I'd like to ENJOY what I do. I have yet to have a job that's not total drudgery and doesn't drive me into depression. I'd like to make use of my education, (i've only spent several thousand $$ I don't actually have for it) and my talents....whatever they are??? I'd have to be involved in a creative field - that means music, art, writing, or a combination thereof. I'm not the type of person who can do 9-5. If i was doing the right thing, it could be more tolerable but not necessarily preferable. People suggest freelance to me, and I kinda turn up my nose at it #1 since I have no idea how to get involved, #2 because I'm afraid I couldn't make a living at it.

Ah...I ramble. I guess I'm supposed to be stewing over this stuff. I just hope I come to some kind of conclusion before I'm 40 and a jaded middle aged housewife. :P


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