Sunday, July 17, 2005

So, I discovered after several grueling days of overheating in my warehouse work environment, combined with more paperwork than my mind is comfortable handling, many interruptions, a pace that is going to drive me crazy come busy season, and a commute that takes anywhere from an hour 15 to an hour and a half on two buses and two trains, that I don't want this job and I made a bad choice.

I've been spending two of the three waking hours I have after getting home looking for another job in every avenue possible. I've been frequenting several job sites online and sending out resumes like girl scouts sell cookies. I've also spent a very HOT weekend trapsing around town applying at places I think I could tolerate if not (god forbid) ENJOY working and might actually want to stay for more than a year.

I'm truly sick of the job search, and I have yet to be at a place for more than a year and a half - I've had to move as often as I've had to change jobs. I find the whole search to be a big stinking pile of ridiculous.

I tried applying to such corporate businesses for crappy SALES ASSOCIATE (fucking peon) jobs because I'm basically looking for part time work so I can actually have time to work on my sewing side work and continue to work on starting my own business.
A recent development is that this companies are now making the job finding hopelessness more streamlined by putting applications online - complete with stupid personality tests.
I spent over 20 minutes in borders answering 37 pages of questions with about 4-5 questions per page, and I love the way they ask the same questions over and over rephrased in different ways. How many ways can I tell you that I AM NOT a leader and don't care to be? At least 15 from what I can tell. I KNOW damn well how these tests work, I've taken Myers Briggs and other tests like that for FUN in real life and online. And I know that according to my personality type, they probably aren't going to call me for an interview. (I could be wrong...but really)

I'm an INFP/INFJ (more INFJ tendencies). That means I'm an introvert, I like to be in quiet, not stressful places, I don't feel the need to talk a whloe lot unless I'm comfortable, and I hate small talks. It also means I'm intuitive - that I make many decisions based more on gut reactions than my senses. I'm more of a feeler than a thinker (not that I don't over analyze everything as it is) but I'm more given to mood swings and I'm not just going to put on a happy face if I feel like total shit. I can be polite, but don't expect me to smile if I'm pissed off or depressed. I'm borderline between perceptive and judging - but I tend to show more judging traits - the desire to be organized, plan, make lists, and be pushy sometimes.

(This is a really basic overview of me according to the tests) So, naturally, I discover that INFP and INFJ (INFJ specifically) are the rarest personality types in the general population. Great. I'm fucking special. Works fine for me as an artist, but crappy as a working drone. I'm a daydreamer. I dislike meaningless work. I have a rebellious streak. But, unlike some of the genetically challenged monkeys out there, I can hold down a fucking job.

I answered the questioned honestly, because they piss me off. There's no sense in me kissing the corporate ass just to get hired. You hire me for me, not for me saying what you want to hear.

Something else I've noticed, a lot of the ads I've answered for jobs specify they want people who show up on time, who are actually going to WORK, who are going to behave with coworkers. One of the questions on the Home Depot application asked if I'd gotten into any fist fights at work in the last...3 years (or something)

WHO THE FUCK ARE THESE PEOPLE? Who are these protozoa who are so lacking in personal responsiblity that they get into fist fights at work, don't show up, and steal things constantly?

I don't remember so many ads having to ask for people who will actually be willing to behave at a job before. I find it stupid that employers even have to post such requirements - these things are generally a given. You get a job, you show up, you are polite, you do your work, you get paid. DUH.

And might I add that I despise the concept of work, and that like money it's a necessary evil? And that I can keep myself plenty busy and out of trouble without having a job and still contribute positively to society - thusly why I need to start my own business?

Here I am, a motivated, overeducated, talented, polite, friendly, honest, freaky but able to color coordinate in a way that still appears clean and professional person who has trouble landing decent jobs. Meanwhile, the rhesus monkeys are giving the human race a bad name and stealing all the paperclips, humping the slurpee machines, hacking computers, and getting into fist fights in the paint department.

Or that's how ot feels anyway. Maybe I sound like I have an ego, but it's more to the point that I'm a decent person who hasn't been getting what is deserved out of a job, save one. I feel like the whole application/resume process is so demeaning, that it reduces everyone to the lowest common denominator so in order to get an interview you have to prove yourself worthy on a piece of paper (or two) How limiting is that? How does someone cram their personality into a piece of paper, or a test that has ambiguous questions?

I also despise the way companies are so unwilling to train people anymore. How does ANYONE break into a field? If everyone wants experience, where and how does one get this wonderful experience? Certainly not at college, they're too busy taking money we don't have to teach us any experience.

And does anyone take into consideration that some people enjoying learning new things, and would be eager to learn new skills and more likely to stay at a job if given the chance to try something new on a regular basis and not repeat the same boring tasks ad nauseum?

I think the "job culture" needs to get its head out of its collective ass. Employment is still down, I don't care what anyone says and the current tactics of using ridiculous personality tests as a replacement for interviews, no desire to train, and guilty until proven innocent attitudes are NOT HELPING people find decent jobs and stay at them.

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