Wednesday, March 28, 2007

I can say that i'm feeling better, well enough to be pissed off and on a cleaning rampage. Armed with a can of disinfectantand a license to kill bacteria, I waged an assault on toothbrushes, faucets, tables,knobs and buttons of all sorts.

i'm done with being sick, and for that matter, anyone else around me being sick.

I'm filled with plenty of fluids, have taken my happy immune boost items, have viciously jump roped - lets not forget that chores can be exercise also, and i have personally tortured every bit of dust in the house that was looking at me the wrong way.

Indeed being more active has been a huge help in getting better, but so has resting properly and eating well. Being female - I suppose it takes extra effort at certain times.

So, for those of you who are sick or are planning to get sick DO NOT VISIT ME, I WILL NOT LET YOU IN THE HOUSE. Go away. Go home. Go sleep and exercise outside somewhere - not in an enclosed space where your conga line of bacteria will infect me or my friends. Learn how to eat stuff that is good for you instead of overprocessed fast food and orange powder coated triangles that may or may not taste like tacos. Put the fucking donut down asshole and eat a goddamn salad.

Don't make me come over there will my arsenal of fresh veggies and beat you to death with them. Know what this is? It's a carrot. Seen one before? Good. Eat the fucker before I put it through your god forsaken ear.

once you're done with that, put your mother fucking remote control down. Get your big jubbly double wide ass off the crusty smeary couch and take it for a walk. or a run. Run from me as i'm chasing you down the street with a can of disinfectant and a really big carrot. Keep running.

Thinking about going to work? Even though you are spewing bodily fluids from every orafice and turning shades that even the mold in the back of your fridge would be ashamed to be seen in? Keep your crap at home! Don't bring it to the shoebox of an office where you're going to sneeze on the fax machine and smear mucous all over every counter top and get everyone else sick. I realize they don't give anyone enough sick days - which is another post ENTIRELY....- but that doesn't mean that others want to be company to your misery. Your company is a piece of mindless shit if they expect you or anyone else to come to work sick because it only makes matters worse. You can't rest, you can't recover and you can't take care of yourself that way.

Find a new job once you get better.

not sleeping well? Then get some sleep. Stop staying up all night to party with drooling losers in a bar or working late hours or staying up til ridiculous hours to watch crap on tv or visit the illuminati on the web. GO TO BED. You may think you can get by on 5 hours a night or less, but you're really just full of shit. Perhaps the fact you got sick in the first place, was the fact that YOU DON'T SLEEP. Trust me, it catches up with you.
Make friends with your pillow. it's where your fat head is supposed to go, moron.

I shouldn't even be blogging about this. This is insane and ridiculous. People should just know to take care of themselves. Whenever I get on yahoo to check my mail, I see crap over and over again on "Why It's important to sleep", or " How to eat Healthy" or "What to do if bile is flowing out of your ears"

how old are we here? Seven? Do we have to be reminded to poop in the toilet and brush our teeth before bed? Maybe if more people get spanked as adults they'd behave less like imbeciles. Who should in their right mind should be reminded to take care of themselves? Have that many people bought into this overworked overstressed cultural ideal that dictates thou shalt hold The Company before thyself and thy personal life? We've all seen Alien. We know what The Company cares about.

This is the kind of mentality that spews crap like "There's no I in team." No mother fucker, but there is ME. And there is no team if the individuals on it are hacking up their intestines. Screw you.

leave it to me to rail against the corporate world and still berate illness at the same time.

I must be feeling better.

You're ALL in trouble now.

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