Tuesday, August 27, 2002

Why are there so many assholes in this world? I fail to understand the mentality of these stupid, destructive, disrespectful people who take advantage of others be it for money or power or sex. I swing back and forth with finding the world both a beautiful and horrible place. It only takes one asshole to have me dwelling on the negative for longer periods of time.

I'm super-pissed off right now. Why is there a need for this kind of behavior to exist? Thousands of years and we have evolved no further and become no better than when we began. We still suffer from war, poverty, slavery, rape, murder, famine and a billion other maladies that are being spread by greedy, self serving, mindless assholes.

There are those, who like me, who don't see the sense in being a mean, greed obsessed, lecherous, power hungry wretch. I'm basically a good person who does my best to try and get through a day while bettering myself. I do my best to be courteous, kind, understanding, caring and giving. Why is it then, that people like me who go out of their way to be kind and generous always get walked over and abused by these ignorant bastards? It is because we're in the way? Is it because we are too nice and too trusting? Is it because we are in the wrong place at the wrong time?

Where do these assholes get the idea that they can get away with the shit that they do? Do they honestly think that it's not going to come back to them eventually? Maybe it won't be me who's making their ass into a sandwich spread, but someone else surely will down the road.That's the hope anyway. Why must bad things happen to good people?

I could spend the rest of my life trying to answer that question. I've asked this question before. This is one of those times when I find that I really despise the way this world is run. I'm sick of all the hatred and fear and stupid twisted shit that goes on. Sometimes I feel like the people who really value life in this world, and the things that really matter are in the minority. People care more about money than love or art or music, or spirituality. Image is valued over substance and diversity of ANY kind, be it race, class, gender, subculture, etc. is still treated as a disease. We can't turn on the TV or radio without products we don't need being forced on us, and if we do manage to watch tv, the programs are full of such banality and lack of intelligence, and rampant with negative images/steerotypes that it's more useful to stab yourself in the head with a salad fork.

I look at our culture and overall I see a morass of wasted talent, lack of focus, overbearing ignorance, and insipid greed...and i really begin to wonder where the hell my place is here and how I'm supposed to make it better. We all have a reason for being here, right? I find it seriously fucking sad that some people's reason for being here involves killing innocent people in the name of a god who doesn't condone killing, or people who think success in life is measured in worthless pictures of dead white presidents, or people who feel the need to take advantage of others because it's easier to get by than to do some work themselves.

It's times like this that I search my soul for some kind of answer to it al. This IS NOT as good as it gets. And I am so tired of seeing mankind make the same damn mistakes century after century and learning absolutely nothing from them. We are not better now than we were back in ancient times because of our technology. Our technology has lessened our patience, and made for a comfort of numbness. So we have little boxes that can project pictures to other little boxes across the planet. We don't have the skill to reconstruct the great pyramids with the mathematical precision that the egyptians did. Even with all our machines, we are so dumbed down and out of touch with ourselves that we couldn't pool enough energy together to even attempt a similar feat in this day and age.

Where am I going with this...I don't know. I'm really pissed off. Had a bad incident happen that triggered this outpouring of venom. This is why I listen to lots of industrial music. This world is a dark place, and sometimes dark music can shed a necessary light. Enough ranting. Where are my frickin CDs.

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