Thursday, November 07, 2002

I am NOT a happy camper today. I do not want to be at school. I want to be asleep. I had trouble getting to sleep and staying asleep due to residual caffeine and back pain. I had to whip out the heating pad at the ungodly hour of 3am, and now I'm sitting here at work with it on my back....it's making the pain more bearable as well as being a source of heat in this meat locker of an office.

I've had at least 2 morons note and announce that my hair is blue. Oh...why thank you I'm glad someone noticed my affliction. I hate it when I wake up with blue hair for no apparent reason and I need upstanding citizens like yourself to point it out for me, because god knows what blue hair does to people. I might whip out a salad shooter and hold the whole train hostage. Oh, and yes, I am perfectly aware that halloween is over. I have a fucking calendar. Do I look like someone who gives a shit if it is over? No. You fuckwad.

God help me, I don't blend in with the masses. oh no. the tragedy. I'll never be accepted by the corporate clothing label wearing establishment. oh boo-hoo. my heart shatters. I SO wanted to look just like you, MR. I THINK YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT YOU HAVE BLUE HAIR. Please strip me of my personality and give me a new prepackaged one from abercrombie or target or some other cookie cutter mall shop. I want to wear someone else's name on my body because I need to define my sense of style.
And...may I add this - I don't think that an african american man has much common sense to judge me on the basis of a COLOR. Really.

You know, I was having a discussion last night about history and society - specifically the dark ages. And I realized just how far back our world - the european world specifically was set and how far back we still are. In so many ways we are no better than our distant ancestors. Human interaction these days is a lovely example of just how much ignorance, self serving, lack of basic respect and lack of general THOUGHT we as people exhibit. Religion is still causing problems where it should be bringing comfort, basic human rights are still being violated, the rich are still rich and the poor are still poor and never the twain shall meet for the most part. The idea of roman spectacle still exists today - instead of lions and christians we have more sophisticated tastes: we can watch white trash couples hurl chairs at each other from a distant tv studio, or snoop in on people's lame ass blind dates.

We are being dummed down by the endless outpouring of media swill, whether it be vapid tv sitcoms, obnoxious commercials, pop music with the charisma of a stale bowl of oatmeal, magazines plastered with airbrushed ideals and the same 765 tips for great sex that they featured in the last issue. When MSN has links like "cell phones that fit your personality", it's time to sharpen your sword cuz someone's head needs to roll...they aren't using it after all.

GOOD GOD!!!!!The one thing I can say about our culture at this point in time is there is more room for diversity (whether or not anyone accepts or acknowledges it) which means there is some tolerance that allows it to exist. There are far less stake burnings these days for deviant styles of dress or thought. We can get away with far more than our ancestors did in that sense. What I wish we retained was their spirit - I mean stuff like spirituality, and artistry and patience. (I speak especially of the ancient cultures because in many aspects they were far more advanced than we give them credit for. Who today could build a pyramid with such preciseness)

I hate to sound like a SNOG thumper (as opposed to a bible thumper), but money is the unfortunate primary god. If it wasn't, we wouldn't have ads slapped in our faces every time we turn on the tv or radio or leave the house. Sure, there are plenty of spiritual people around but it's hard for any of us to have any kind of intelligent conversation about the subject because #1 organized religion frustrates many of us to the point where we want to scrap it all, and #2 if we try to discuss things like adults then the load of shit called political correctness (otherwise known as orwellian double speak) gets in the way and someone decides that they have been offended, whether in truth they have or not.

Where the hell am I going with all this? Fuck if I know. I'm just pissed off. I'm very sick of people right now. I'm sick of the way people treat each other. I'm beyond tired of the way society is being run, and the people who want to be politicians instead of thinking about the good of the people they are supposed to serve. I'm tired of prepackaged life - just add water. look, you're a prep, a punk, a goth, a business man. Everything you need to be a pale imitation of an actual individual is available to you at the right price. We'll help you dress the part, and if you need help thinking and acting the part then just watch our commercials.

Ok...i think my mental technicolor yawn is quite finished. For now.

Currently ranting to: Sisters of Mercy - Floodland, and thinking I really should be playing Die Krupps instead.

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