Monday, August 15, 2005

I'm Freeeeeeee! Like a naked monkey in a field of cream cheese!

I've just gotten a job offer and taken it so now I can give my two weeks notice!

Hit it guys!

(band dressed in silvery jumpsuits rises out of floor while blue and purple lights surround them)

The two weeks notice song

My job was really sucky,
it made me want to cry.
I felt I was unlucky
and wished my boss would die.

But then I got a phone call
it changed my point of view
so i can tell my former work place


IIIIIIIIIII' my two weeks notice
I couldn't be more cheerful!
I've giving my two weeks notice
so pass around a beerful.
I'm giving my two weeks notice
and soon I'll be just fine.
Cuz I won't have to deal with
their stupid shit
So hand me some more wine!

Two weeks notice
Two weeks notice

I'd wake up in the mourning,
The sunlight burned my eyes
I hated my job so much,
I wanted to stab myself in the head
and throw poodles at innocent passsersby
while chanting in latvian and flinging
forkfulls of waterchestnuts covered in bacon(boy are they yummy why am I throwing them) and singeing people's hair with the death rays shooting from my swollen and tear stained eyes listening to KMFDM on repeat and loading my machine gun stale macaroni sharpened into something not unlike a bayonet....


But now I'm giving my two weeks notice
and I couldn't smile enough!
Boy when you're drunk
this typing thing gets rough.

But I'm giving my two weeks notice
And everything is grand
I can tell my boss
to get on his hoss
cuz this is my final stand.

(Whistling solo followed by kazoo orchestra)

(curtain lifts up to reveal kickline of half naked showgirls wearing pink spangly things, their entrie heads covered with fruit and a trained koala is doing a semaphoer version of the following lyrics with the flag of Finland:)

It's my two weeks notice!
I need a hug!
My two weeks notice!
Glug Glug glug glug (burp)
My two weeks notice
and I'm here to Saaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyy....

God bless us every one!

My two weeks notice is coming...

(Confetti and japanese food items shower down upon the audience. Old women sob with emotion. Everyone gets a piece of cake.)

the End