Friday, November 08, 2002

YAY!!!! I got my tanzwut CD!!!! HAPPEEEEEEEE! Angry Germans with guitars and bagpipes...I want to hug all of them!!! But my back still hurts, so the heating pad is till my friend. ONly one more real night of sleeping on the floor though, as helping with the move tomorrow will procure us a boingier sleep surface.

Did some dishes last appears that there is a sink underneath where the dishes were. There is still a garment cyclone in the bedroom though. That probably won't get taken care of until sunday. I hope to finish my radio show and get it up by the end of the weekend. Almost the entire thing is from the "new" discs we picked up. Since I don't have time to scout for new MP3s right now, it's just as well.

Still too damn many loose ends to tie up, chores, homework and otherwise.

I've been butt-tired for going on 2 full weeks now. I'm wondering if it is really going to let up. Who knows. As long as I can get some sleep and stay on my exercise program, things should be ok. My biceps are getting huge!!! Well, looking at the noodles that are growing out of my torso, they are HUGE! And while I will probably never have washboard abs, I nonetheless am aware of their existence now! Exercise that yields results is a nice thing,and keeps wishy washy peeps like me on the regiment.

Well, I should finish eating and try to stay awake through the post food stupor.

still achieving consciousness to: Cyberaktif/ Tenebrae Vision

Thursday, November 07, 2002

I am NOT a happy camper today. I do not want to be at school. I want to be asleep. I had trouble getting to sleep and staying asleep due to residual caffeine and back pain. I had to whip out the heating pad at the ungodly hour of 3am, and now I'm sitting here at work with it on my's making the pain more bearable as well as being a source of heat in this meat locker of an office.

I've had at least 2 morons note and announce that my hair is blue. Oh...why thank you I'm glad someone noticed my affliction. I hate it when I wake up with blue hair for no apparent reason and I need upstanding citizens like yourself to point it out for me, because god knows what blue hair does to people. I might whip out a salad shooter and hold the whole train hostage. Oh, and yes, I am perfectly aware that halloween is over. I have a fucking calendar. Do I look like someone who gives a shit if it is over? No. You fuckwad.

God help me, I don't blend in with the masses. oh no. the tragedy. I'll never be accepted by the corporate clothing label wearing establishment. oh boo-hoo. my heart shatters. I SO wanted to look just like you, MR. I THINK YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT YOU HAVE BLUE HAIR. Please strip me of my personality and give me a new prepackaged one from abercrombie or target or some other cookie cutter mall shop. I want to wear someone else's name on my body because I need to define my sense of style.
And...may I add this - I don't think that an african american man has much common sense to judge me on the basis of a COLOR. Really.

You know, I was having a discussion last night about history and society - specifically the dark ages. And I realized just how far back our world - the european world specifically was set and how far back we still are. In so many ways we are no better than our distant ancestors. Human interaction these days is a lovely example of just how much ignorance, self serving, lack of basic respect and lack of general THOUGHT we as people exhibit. Religion is still causing problems where it should be bringing comfort, basic human rights are still being violated, the rich are still rich and the poor are still poor and never the twain shall meet for the most part. The idea of roman spectacle still exists today - instead of lions and christians we have more sophisticated tastes: we can watch white trash couples hurl chairs at each other from a distant tv studio, or snoop in on people's lame ass blind dates.

We are being dummed down by the endless outpouring of media swill, whether it be vapid tv sitcoms, obnoxious commercials, pop music with the charisma of a stale bowl of oatmeal, magazines plastered with airbrushed ideals and the same 765 tips for great sex that they featured in the last issue. When MSN has links like "cell phones that fit your personality", it's time to sharpen your sword cuz someone's head needs to roll...they aren't using it after all.

GOOD GOD!!!!!The one thing I can say about our culture at this point in time is there is more room for diversity (whether or not anyone accepts or acknowledges it) which means there is some tolerance that allows it to exist. There are far less stake burnings these days for deviant styles of dress or thought. We can get away with far more than our ancestors did in that sense. What I wish we retained was their spirit - I mean stuff like spirituality, and artistry and patience. (I speak especially of the ancient cultures because in many aspects they were far more advanced than we give them credit for. Who today could build a pyramid with such preciseness)

I hate to sound like a SNOG thumper (as opposed to a bible thumper), but money is the unfortunate primary god. If it wasn't, we wouldn't have ads slapped in our faces every time we turn on the tv or radio or leave the house. Sure, there are plenty of spiritual people around but it's hard for any of us to have any kind of intelligent conversation about the subject because #1 organized religion frustrates many of us to the point where we want to scrap it all, and #2 if we try to discuss things like adults then the load of shit called political correctness (otherwise known as orwellian double speak) gets in the way and someone decides that they have been offended, whether in truth they have or not.

Where the hell am I going with all this? Fuck if I know. I'm just pissed off. I'm very sick of people right now. I'm sick of the way people treat each other. I'm beyond tired of the way society is being run, and the people who want to be politicians instead of thinking about the good of the people they are supposed to serve. I'm tired of prepackaged life - just add water. look, you're a prep, a punk, a goth, a business man. Everything you need to be a pale imitation of an actual individual is available to you at the right price. We'll help you dress the part, and if you need help thinking and acting the part then just watch our commercials.

Ok...i think my mental technicolor yawn is quite finished. For now.

Currently ranting to: Sisters of Mercy - Floodland, and thinking I really should be playing Die Krupps instead.

Wednesday, November 06, 2002

ahhh. coffee. Apparently, I amm catching onto the idea of being fueled with it on occasion. I spent the morning bouncing and twitching and talking at chipmunk speed. Picked out the last of the costumes for the show for Laura to look at, did ok in classes. People like my renderings. YAY!

need to take the leftover fallout energy and get my ass back onto my exercise routine...well, and the rest of my body is welcome too. Especially since I am going to be eating large amounts of steak this evening. MEEEEEEat.

Just dinner and movie tonight hopefully...need some relaxing. The place is getting picked up slowly. We'll be bringing home the rest of the decorations tonight, so we need to get those put away. After helping Heather and Steve move this weekend, we'll actually have a box spring for the mattress, as well as a much needed CD rack and some other things since we are taking their cast-offs.

I WANT MY TANZWUT CD!!!! I need burly germans with guitars and bagpipes singing to me. Sigh.

currently awaiting the end of my day with: This Is Industrial CD#3

Tuesday, November 05, 2002

November...the outright ooziest month on record. Rain, cold, grayness...etc. Getting out of bed was traumatic. Didn't achieve any cleaning last night...Mike did get some of the CDs organized...just in time for me to screw them up again by putting together a new radio show. Other than that, all we did was take turns falling asleep on the heating pad. And I made some nice warm casserole stuff for dinner...which I was going to eat at work today but left it at home. :(

So, I'm going to get a nice warm subway sandwich for lunch. Maybe soup if they have any....
I've got renderings for costume design due tomorrow...should start on them today at work once I can function. Need to get back on the exercise wagon too....can't let my abs go to shit.

Tomorrow we'll be doing steak dinner and movie with heather and glenn...mmm steak. I'd like to be smothered in steak right about now.

currently bemoaning my fate to: underworld/dubnobasswithmyheadman

Monday, November 04, 2002

I can't think of a vile enough add-on to the most foul day of the week.

I survived the Day of the dead was fun, but so much work and I was too tired to do my makeup by the time I got to it. If we weren't decorating, or cooking, or forming corpses out of meat, then I was doing Mike's makeup and trying to keep everything in order. I did get pictures of his makeup, and my costume, and various cute snacks we made, but I need rest before I get a chance to put them up.

I have to put together a new radio show too.....and fast.
Tonight will be nothing but chores however. Our place is trashed. Glad that Mike is foregoing the wrestling so we can rediscover the kitchen sink and living room floor. Who knows what the hell we'll be eating for dinner. We did pick up some neat new decorations from the halloween clearance sales tho....

I have a big dull headache. I'm freezing. I'm hungry. I'm tired. And...I'm whiny.
I just want today to be over, the fallout from last week is taking quite a toll. I'd like to be able to rub my braincells together and form an idea through the friction.

Right now, a nice hot bowl of soup, some comfy PJs and the heating pad behind my back on the couch is sounding just fine to me.