Monday, April 14, 2003

picture me smiling. smiling in a way that could peel paint.
it was my supervisor's last day at work today. i just found out. i'm not mad at him. it makes perfect sense that he's leaving when we are both being run ragged by a micromanaging putz.

so, naturally, when the putz finds out, things are going to get even more annoying than they already are. And who is going to have to deal with it while working on 2 more shows this semester and trying to to kill people? me.

I am now in the begging stage of trying to push my way into the costume shop to get a work aid position.

granted, that won't do much good until fall. I still have the other half of this semester to get through. But getting out of here would be nice. It's not like I haven't been wishing I didn't have to come here. Now I have all the more reason.

It's been nice getting to occasionally check my email and play on the computer, and working elsewhere would give me a paycut, but sanity has no price. And my supply is looking thin.
oh yes...and FUCK NETSCAPE. I like my dishes or my webpages, this blog has thus far remained untouched for a month. Why? Because of cowboy hats, cowboy boots,, and yodeling.

I missed my "spring break" entirely and got even less rest than I normally would had I only been working because of tech for my first "real" show. I'd been doing nothing but stitching for weeks, and then that's all I did at all for several days straight outside of sleep and complain about stitching. The show went well, it's over now, and sickeningly enough I miss the damn thing. Nothing like getting attached to a project that drove you crazy. Never mind the fact that along the way I attempted to dye a pink acrylic scarf black and only succeeded in destroying the bathroom and turning the walls and floor purple.

I'll miss being backstage and hanging out. I won't miss having to be at school every day of the week for two weeks. I managed to have half a weekend this past weekend. I'm ready for this coming weekend, when I am not going to be thrift shopping or sewing.

I am so fucking tired. I can't even put enough fucks in one sentence to explin how tired I am. I at least have the satisfaction of knowing that the show went well and people liked the costumes. Hardly any of my classmates (or teachers for that matter) seemed to be able to make it however. Good thing I took lots of pictures.

There are about 50 ways in which I don't want to be at this building today. I have to push a big heavy canvas cart full of costumes down the street before class to return them. The after going back to work I have to go home, round up some shit, make dinner, and come back to this god forsaken place to drop in on another rehearsal. Then, joy of joys, I have to go home and do my taxes.

Managed to get the apartment cleaned up some, with Mike's help. My energy is super low though. Looks like we won't have any plates to eat off of for another week.

Need to update/fix my radio show. It's been over a month that the damn thing has been playing the same shit, and the billing is messed up since my credit card expired and I didn't reinstate it fast enough.

Oh yeah. And then there's my wedding, which I should be excited about, especially now that we actually found a place to get married...but it just seems like another stick on the pile of wood right now. I'm looking more towards the honeymoon because it's a vacation and I need one...badly.

Barely kept up with anyoone these past few weeks, and that's not likely to change until school is done. Haven't eaten enough, and what I have eaten is not the best stuff for me. Let's just say I've become a black hole for chocolate. Subway has worn out its welcome. I'm dying for a real meal. Problem is, I'd have to cook it. And seeing as how all the dishes are dirty, there's no chance in hell that I'll be cooking this week. So much for eating.

Rant Rant Rant. What's to be expected after a week of chaos? There were some good times in there, of course. Cast parties, brownies, jokes backstage. A day off from work where I could bake and cook and redo the colored extensions in my hair. There weer some naps in there too. But overall, I'm really worn out and I have no real chance to rest. Thusly, I'm uber pissy. Didn't help that I slept like shit on a stick last night.

I'm in one of those moods where if my eyes could shoot flames, half the block would be cinders. I'm in no mood to deal with people on the train, on the street, in my office. I want to be left alone. I'd be perfectly happy in my pajamas and slippers right now, watching a movie at home. Or playing on the computer.

But of course, I can't have that. No. I'm stuck here.

And let me say, once again after visiting Neo the second time in months after my last show, that the place sucks. I was mopey and cranky anyway, having after show withdrawal and it being that time of month. But honestly. I could count on one hand the songs they played that were decent. And four of those would be what can be considered the Neo muzak tape. The same shit I heard back in december...hell, when I first came into town is still getting played.

Sorry folks, but there are other songs besides Dead Stars by covenant and Another World by Beborn Beton. I put my oxyacetylene welding goggles down over my eyes after a while so I didn't have to see the gyrations of the clogged dance floor. It was less painful that way. I don't mean to be a snob either, but as always there were few people who could even dance. Honestly.

I didn't get up once. I was tired and extremely uninspired. I discovered though why people must like Neo. It's a good place to mope. Since I didn't set my expectations too high for having an actual night of dancing, it wasn't too bad.
When I want to actually dance however...sometime next year when my schedule allows, I'll go to Exit though.

Wow...I've been bitching for paragraphs now. Isn't that nice? Can't you just lick the screen and taste the bitterness?