Friday, June 15, 2007

the word for today is FUCKTARDS.

Fucktards come in many shapes sizes and flavors, all of them stupid. They are usually involved professionally in bureacracy, hypocracy, politics, and the burgeoning field of general annoyance.
They often don't do their jobs, or hold up what should be a seemingly easy process by ceasing activity and not informing you as to why, or informing you that the process has even been held up at all.

Because naturally, I don't have anything better to do because I have all the time in the world, the problems they cause should be miniscule to me, no matter how many times I have to play their sadistic game of hokey pokey.

They follow neither the laws of physics, nor of common sense.

They are a complete waste of skin, oxygen and brain cells (mine).

Todays fucktard of the month is Fed Ex. Apparently, they are fans of theatre, as TWICE as 2 different stores they have made a grand display of PRETENDING to charge my credit card (which works everywhere else the FIRST TIME mind you) and giving me a receipt, without the least bit of a hint that they were just kidding about that whole accepting my payment thing.

The nice people that they are, they must think I need to to exercise my powers of imagination and also, as I've been imagining that the parcel I sent off had ACTUALLY GONE SOMEWHERE. Ha ha ha. Silly silly customer! Because they love their practical joke SO MUCH, the package, as far as I can tell, is STILL sitting where I had dropped it off :LAST WEEK, and no one had bothered to use this handy device called A PHONE to tell me that my package hadn't moved, and that they hadn't been paid.

I'd love to pay them. i'd love to pay them with my foot. Or better yet, with a rocket cannon. Let me shove that fucking fed ex arrow in a really uncomfortable place that will surely cause lesions and lots of screaming.

I Heart you fed ex.

I could have trained some goddamn pigeons to take my mail by now, and they'd do it joyfully for scraps of bread.

I probably could have walked ON FOOT to the destination with the fucking package in my hand and dropped it off by now.

Had I known that no one was going to do their job, I would have gone to another service, but it's apparent that Fed ex doesn't like to serve their customers and prehaps next time I will have to avoid their pox marked goat sucking mutated cheese smelling ass regions.

Angry? who's angry? No one angry here. FURIOUS!!! yes.

Furious at being one of those rare people who has intelligence about the average protozoan smarts that a lot of other people at these jobs seem to have, furious that I have always been someone who has gotten my fucking job done and done well no matter what kind of craphouse I've worked for and what shitty wages i've gotten.

Furious that other people cannot be depended on to do their part. There's a reason I do so much stuff myself and get burnt out a lot - it's because so many other asshats don't feel the need to unglue their buttcheeks from the sides of their heads long enough to do anything besides stare dumbly at the TV and drool.

I don't think it's too much to ask to say that you are going to do something, and then DO IT.

I tire of working as hard as I have for so little reward and then to have to deal with shit like this.

I've been working at being more compassionate, but right now, i've had it with the talking monkeys.

You, you banana stuffing ape, wake the hell up already. Evolve a little and realize that people actually depend on you to do more than scratch your ass with a stick.

Hey folks, it's either this or I chew someone's head off verbally or put my fist through a wall. I wouldn't be this mad if it wasn't a recurring theme.

maybe I should be kinder to the lowest common denominator. Maybe they don't deserve my wrath, but...kindness instead.

Maybe I should wish them a lovely day filled with...all sorts of interesting events.
How about an exciting bus ride to work? An interesting meal at Mc Donalds? A hug from a drunk, sweaty overweight stranger who has too much love to give?

Maybe I should kill them with kindness, by stuffing daisies up their nostrils.

Ah...I feel better already.