Sometimes I wonder whether or not I'm human.
Half the time it's because of the looks people give me.
The rest of it comes because I always wind up feeling so far removed from everyone else in various ways, like I'm on some other plane of existence than most people. I've always taken the label of outcast much too easily - and I can't stand labels, but even more than "artist", this labels seems to fit.
I know that there are lots of good people out there (and it's likely that they are the quieter ones so I don't hear their views as much) but I tire quickly of so many knee-jerk paranoia mongers, greedy businessmen, hatefilled self righteous antagonists, petty fight pickers, and people who are so bound and determined to spew ignorance like pesticide all over the public airwaves.
I just don't get it. Why is it always the asshats who get to hold the microphones? Besides the fact that they like to hear themselves talk?
This is just another stage of my struggle to not be a total misanthropist, I guess.
I just feel like people aren't trying half the time. It's not that hard to be considerate, to LISTEN to others, to drive like a decent person on the road and use your goddamn turn signals when your hand is less than an inch away from the switch. To not act like people in customer service are your personal slaves and not PEOPLE with feelings and families and paychecks they are trying to earn. I personally think it's rather easy to NOT kill someone else on the basis of different beliefs, or steal because you think that you can get away with it.
Perhaps, looking back up at my previous descriptions of people, it's that the forementioned groups have something I don't - AN AGENDA. They have something in mind that will elevate them whether it be in the eyes of others or in their own. Can I quote Trent Reznor by saying "There is no fucking YOU there is only me"?
Oh yeah, and I left out attention whores on that previous list.
I can't get over how humanity treats itself - how the leaders give us lip service but no action, how there's a pill for everything whether or not it's a medical condition. How EVERYTHING has become a medical condition. How we apparently exist to consume and buy, and spend money we don't have on things we don't need or want.
I know that things aren't all bad. There is good in this world, I'd just like for the good, for the heroic, for the kind, to have a bigger podium than the loudmouths of the negative. Or at the very least a poodle gun to knock the opposition off their feet.