Tuesday, July 18, 2006

I don't like winter. Many people are quite aware of my incessant whinging about the cold and the snow. My body likes warm, humid climates because my skin is so dry and my allergies are bothered more in cool dry air.

Nonetheless, I find myself in the same torturous situation as I did last summer at this time, minus the fat gay santa with the clown infested bathroom.

Last summer, I was paid $12 an hour to shlep heavy hot wool costumes on the second floor of an old factory building with no AC or air flow for 8 hours a day.

This summer, I'm being paid $8 an hour to shlep boxes of stock in a retail store with no AC, and the only air flow tends to be HOT.

I just did 2 days in a non air conditioned building that has NO shade trees around it whatsoever and also has a glass front, thereby allowing even more heat and light in at the hottest times of the day once the rest of the heat has sunken into the building. At least at my other job, the front offices had AC so I could escape the heat for a few minutes.

And yesterday, to top off all the fun, I found that I got heat rash. You know, the stuff that babies get. HEAT RASH. AT WORK. I know this may be a little TMI, but....fuck it. I've got fucking heat rash and it's...not very comfortable.

I lost count of the amount of water I took in and I spent more time drinking and peeing than being able to get any work done. By the end of the day, we were all sitting in chairs at the registers where the fans were, and we turned off some of the lights to try and control the heat factor. I was actually doing better than some of my other co-workers, who looked ready to pass out.

Lovely, that during the two hottest days so far this year, I've worked both. with no AC.

The scary thing is how fast my body acclimates to hot humid weather. It doesn't make me want to work, mind you, but I get used to it rather quickly.

If I had to work again today, I do believe I'd call in. The AC is supposed to be fixed either last night or today. I'm not holding my breath until I feel a temperature difference between the outside and the inside of the building.

Might I also add, that this is so very convenient since our budget forced us to cut down on the amount of water for the cooler. We cut back to four bottles instead of six. Never mind that we've gone through one bottle in the span of TWO days.

It would be an understatement to say I'm tired.

I normally love summer, but it's only July and I'm ready to drop. Between pet emergencies, anticlimactic craft fairs, wedding dresses, overbooking of plans, overflows of dishes and laundry, the constant flow of stress and tension at work as everyone senses the ship is sinking, and the concurrent return of my insomnia, I think I am justified in being more than a little exhausted.

Just when I get back on some form of routine exercise, meditation and diet, and am trying to make time for myself to RELAX which is something I never do because I overbook myself, and attempt to spend quality time with Mike that doesn't involve video games or wrestling, ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE.

This time, I am NOT reliquishing my exercise, meditation, relaxation and diet plans because they are the only things keeping me remotely sane.

I realized at work yesterday, just how laughable my situation there was. (before the uncomfortable heat rash set in)It was in fact, ridiculous to the point of comical.
If anyone saw me working at work, they might think I care about what I'm doing.
It is quite the opposite. I care about the people I work with. I care that the nicer customers get what they want. But I really could give a shit about the company or what I do there, when it boils down to it.

This job is a drop in the bucket of my life. It's purgatory, and purgatory is only temporary. I don't have a reason to care about whether or not the COMPANY makes any money, because we're not going to get the now illusive incentive they present us with so they don't have to really pay us. They care so little about us, what reason should I care about them?

How is it that people in a group can behave so inhumanly? That's all a corporation is, a group of people. That group changes, of course, but it's just people. It has no soul, no mind, and definitely no heart. Nothing outside of the people who make it up. Take away the people, all you have nothing but a name, or a symbol. At without anything to back up the name or symbol, the whole idea of a name or symbol is utterly useless. Empty.

This emptiness exists even when the people are present, that's the worst part. It's the facelessness, the mindless authority. The COMPANY, as mindless as empty as it is, functions and expects to be treated like it's bigger than people. As if it had more authority over people's lives because of it's power.

Last time I checked, the only "authority" that was bigger than people was God, and actually viewing God as desiring power over people is an entirely incorrect one. (but that's another discussion anyway.)

This kind of behavior is why I say our religion is business. I could start quoting Mr Trent Reznor (God money I'll do anything for you), or Snog (Our God he is a dollar bill) and any number of other things I listen to and you see this theme repeated.

In the Alien movie trilogy, there was THE COMPANY. You never heard it's name, it was just THE COMPANY. Remember what the company did - it was responsible for most of the deaths the Alien reeked on thos who encountered it because it wanted to alien as a weapon, as a means of control and power. Who is really more frightening then? The Giger-ish KY coated acid dripping flesh rending alien, or the faceless human conglomerate who is willing to use something that horrible on its OWN KIND to further its power over them?

Hello Mr Alien. Let's have some tea.